The best thing I can think of is to drive to the panhandle of any state

Though they look like the skinniest parts, I  hear they can hold the most weight

And you can bet that the roads are empty

And you can bet that there’s some horseplay

And you can bet that the streets are dead

And that’s the best I can do right now

And that’s the best I can do, some how

And that’s the best I can do

Best I can do

Right now

That vendor on 44^th street has been trying to sell me the same hot dog for five years

Now I don’t know what he soaks those dogs in, but I think I got some valid fears

And somewhere the plains do not end

Where I can shuck fuckin corn for nourishment

Leave behind tasteless cement

And that’s the best I can do right now

And that’s the best I can do, somehow

And that’s the best I can do

Best I can do

Right now

I’m gonna set up in a Red State

Order a shot of pink Pepto next to a red steak

Order food so cheap it comes on a blue plate

Then maybe I might not feel so blue, blue, blue

New York used to not give me heartburn, but now this Big Apple has made me dyspeptic

Stomped block to block with horse-blinders on, I used to be so fuckin myopic

My stomach ain’t gurgling up something good

Food goes in reverse, from acid to food

Want to get out to go somewhere good

And that’s the best I can do right now

And that’s the best I can do, somehow

And that’s the best I can do

Best I can do

Right now